A year ago today you came into this world. I think back to it now ... we didn't even know you yet ... we didn't know that in just 2 short days you would change our lives forever! I don't know what happened to you exactly in those first few days, but I do know that God had us planned for each other. We had been waiting and trying to adopt for 4 long years. We had that week decided we were done. Done being pulled from one program to the next and in the last one, finding out that progrom didn't even exist. Maybe I just needed to give up all my dreams. But God knew and had a plan. You needed a mother, and you needed a father. You needed a family; so before we could call that day, God put our situation in the heart of your social worker.
Your daddy got the call. I remember the exact moment he told me ... the moment my heart stopped and started to hope and feel again. (I don't think I've ever before or since cleaned up a painting job so fast
) The news we heard: there is a 2 day old baby boy with a heart defect and DS, do you want him? My first thoughts: YES!!, oh wait, can I do this?, YES!!, umm, I don't know anything about DS, of coarse I want a baby!, wait, what does this mean?... All I did know for certain was that I wanted to cry and I wanted to see you. I did see you an hour and a half later; you looked so cold and still. All you had on was a diaper and wires everywhere. I didn't know it then, but your O2 had just been taken off and you were doing fine. But that wouldn't have meant anything to me then. All I wanted to know was "Could he cry?" I don't know why, but somehow I thought if you could cry you'd be fine. Now, I definitely know you can cry! And you have quite the personallity! You're a manipulator, but more than that you're our charmer!!
I went home after seeing you for 5 minutes and talking to three social workers for 45 minutes (I think that should have been the other way around
) And then I called all the references they gave me - which is how I ended up here. But what it really came down to is that we felt we had be given you by God just from the way things worked out. And how could we say that wasn't good enough? If you had been born to us we wouldn't have thought twice about it, so that was it. It did help though when I was directed to call one of our pastors who has a 7 year old daugter with DS. He talked some about the challenges, but mostly about her accomplishments. At the end of our conversation, his words that stuck with me were,"If I spoke from my heart, I'd say 'Do it'."
You had some ups and downs in the NICU, but we took you home at 13 days. I honestly cannot remember there being a good "time" until you were 7 months. There were definitely good days to break up the challenging ones, and we've all made it through some rough stretches: milk intolerance (6 weeks), heart failure (2 months) and surgery (3 months), feeding and oral aversion resulting in the Gtube (4 months). The worst was the aversion and your fighting against feedings. After trying around a half a dozen formulas and too many feeding techniques to count, we finally stopped listening to the doctors and started asking around. Stopping antacids and going with the natural, goat's milk and probiotic, is what finally worked (7 months). You were happier, spitting up less, and actually started eating! In a months time you went from drinking nothing on your own to at times drinking everything in the day plus eating small amounts of puree. The first day you did that was actually the day we adopted you. All around, that day could not have gotten any better! We had our son, and he was finally feeling good
Throughout all this and more, and even since then, I have wondered what our life would be like without your extra chromisome. I can't say that I'm glad you have it or that I wouldn't take it away if I had the option, but I do know that you would not be you without it ... and you I would not trade for the world! It may have taken you longer than others to get to where you are, but along the way you have given meaning to so many lives. Your smile - it could melt the snow in winter. Your accompishments mean so much more after you've worked so long to learn something. Your smile with your great big belly laugh gets me every time
And who but you wakes up with a smile everyday! And you give the best hugs!!
Most importantly, you've taught me about God. You've taught me to trust in Him; that there is a time for all things and that there still is life without them; that "it will be ok", life seems to work it's self out if you just give it to God; and patience, even if I could use more, somehow we make it through.
So, Happy Birthday little monkey, you've blessed our lives beyond words!
Love Always,
Mama & Daddy
Thu Apr 29, 2010 1:59 pm
