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 Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!

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DebbieH

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PostSubject: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:33 am

This is a sweet story of a boy friend/girl friend couple in High school who both have Ds. They were voted Homecoming King and Queen. Very sweet! And, grab a tissue!

http://www.11alive.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=163284&catid=40
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DanielsMommy



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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Thu Nov 18, 2010 10:20 am

Best story I ever read!!!!!!!!!
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ME's mom

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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Thu Nov 18, 2010 1:48 pm

Awe. How sweet!
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MelWen

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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:52 am

I love this story, thanks for sharing Smile
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Erin's Mom

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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:06 am

I love how they are included so warmly in their high school! I am seeing more and more of these stories about kids with Ds elected as homecoming queen/king. I am not sure about that little detail about them going around giving hugs and kisses to everyone....maybe that is just me, but I don't think I'd want Erin doing that. High fives are fine, but at that age, it worries me with too much huggin' and kissin' going around. Is it just me? It would be interesting to see what Nicol says about that since Alex is that age.


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shele337

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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:37 pm

Erin's Mom wrote:
. I am not sure about that little detail about them going around giving hugs and kisses to everyone....maybe that is just me, but I don't think I'd want Erin doing that. High fives are fine, but at that age, it worries me with too much huggin' and kissin' going around. Is it just me? It would be interesting to see what Nicol says about that since Alex is that age.




My boys are only 7 and this issue already drives me nuts. I do NOT want them hugging and kissing people at age 7 and I would be quite upset to find out they were doing it in high school. Having Ds is not a reason to be doing this type of thing, at least not in my opinion. It makes other people extremely uncomfortable the older the child gets....and it's a HARD habit to break when the child is older if it isn't taught while the child is young. I've talked to several parents in our Ds group that say that they wish they would have taught their child when he/she was the age of our boys about appropriate/inappropriate social boundaries. One mom has a 19 year old and it is a struggle that they have with her every single day. Strangers and kids at school don't think it's so "cute" anymore. But, the child with Ds doesn't understand that. She's been allowed to hug on everyone her whole life. Same thing with waving at strangers and all of that. It's so hard to break if it's allowed to go on for years and years.

I will say that going to the Miracle League park and being a part of that where there are a lot of older teenagers and adults with Ds REALLY motivates me to teach my boys appropriate social behaviors NOW while they are young.

Sorry...I got off on a tangent..lol.

_________________

Shelley
mom to Jakob-12, Olivia-9, Emmett-9/Ds, Kullen-9/Ds,
Grifyn-8/Ds, Xander-8/Ds and ASD, Zoie-6 and Annikah-6/Ds
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Erin's Mom

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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Tue Dec 14, 2010 4:48 pm

shele337 wrote:
Erin's Mom wrote:
. I am not sure about that little detail about them going around giving hugs and kisses to everyone....maybe that is just me, but I don't think I'd want Erin doing that. High fives are fine, but at that age, it worries me with too much huggin' and kissin' going around. Is it just me? It would be interesting to see what Nicol says about that since Alex is that age.




My boys are only 7 and this issue already drives me nuts. I do NOT want them hugging and kissing people at age 7 and I would be quite upset to find out they were doing it in high school. Having Ds is not a reason to be doing this type of thing, at least not in my opinion. It makes other people extremely uncomfortable the older the child gets....and it's a HARD habit to break when the child is older if it isn't taught while the child is young. I've talked to several parents in our Ds group that say that they wish they would have taught their child when he/she was the age of our boys about appropriate/inappropriate social boundaries. One mom has a 19 year old and it is a struggle that they have with her every single day. Strangers and kids at school don't think it's so "cute" anymore. But, the child with Ds doesn't understand that. She's been allowed to hug on everyone her whole life. Same thing with waving at strangers and all of that. It's so hard to break if it's allowed to go on for years and years.

I will say that going to the Miracle League park and being a part of that where there are a lot of older teenagers and adults with Ds REALLY motivates me to teach my boys appropriate social behaviors NOW while they are young.

Sorry...I got off on a tangent..lol.

Shelley, I had a similar experience at our cousin Maggie's funeral. There were a few adults with Ds who stood VERY close to you when talking, wanting to hug everyone, even strangers. One young man went from person to person, hugging everyone. While some thought it was really sweet, I was taking mental notes to teach Erin proper social skills Smile. Other adults with Ds seemed to know boundaries better, and offered to shake hands when meeting someone new. I also noticed some uncomfortable responses. I can see how it would be hard to break the hugging habit because it is a positive, happy thing.....just not always appropriate in every situation.

I too am sorry for the tangent....which was such a small part of the thread Debbie posted. Sorry! I should've started a new thread Embarassed
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ME's mom

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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Tue Dec 14, 2010 5:17 pm

Actually, there is a book out there, that my friend Sharon bought when her daughter was about 13. She was concerned about this as well. Her daughter is now 19, and I do not think this is a problem for them. Sharon was very determined to not let it be a problem, so it may have been her more than the book, but I know the book had some really neat suggestions about how to teach them about their personal space, and others. I will have to get the title for that.
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bcpta

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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:24 pm

Great story! And I know what you guys mean about social boundaries. I am very lucky that Noah is NOT friendly. LOL He really doesn't generally like to talk to strangers, he's rather grouchy about it really. I almost have to laugh if someone is trying to talk to him and they say something like "children like him are so sweet and friendly" and the whole time Noah is signing "no" at them. But they have no idea unless they get too friendly and he let's them know real quick. LOL He is extremely loving and cuddly with family but that is it. Hopefully it stays that way.
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DebbieH

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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:17 pm

Erin's Mom wrote:

I too am sorry for the tangent....which was such a small part of the thread Debbie posted. Sorry! I should've started a new thread Embarassed

Kris, no worries! I actually love it when topics go off on rabbit trails. It's neat to see where the discussion take us.

And, I agree about teaching social boundaries to ALL of our children at a young age. It annoys the heck out of me when people stand/talk in "my space" or offer an extended hug when I don't even really know that person. A quick hug between good friends is okay but hugging everyone and their dog...not okay for me. But then again, I am a touch-me-not kind of person except for family and friends. And if I ever meet anyone from this board in real life, you better expect a hug 'cause I count everyone here as family! Just so ya know.
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ME's mom

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PostSubject: Re: Rachel and Jeffery ~ sweet couple with Ds...tissue alert!   Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:39 pm

Okay, so my I got in touch with my friend, to ask her about what she did about this. She had a couple of books she recommended.

Teaching Children with Down Syndrome about Their Bodies, Boundaries, and Sexuality and another that she is going to get the name of tomorrow. She also recommended this book as they grow. American Girl book, "The Care and Keeping of your Body"

Then she went on to tell me the part that I really really remembered, and thought was such a great idea for this. I do not think it is ever too young to think about this stuff, and getting wisdom from parents who have older children is priceless! Here is what she said:

One visual we used with Laura that really helped in the hugging area, was a bullseye. A graphic artist friend helped me with it, but I imagine anyone with some computer knowledge now-a-days could do it.
In the center ring we put the people you can give a "full hug" to. Family, and a couple close friends.
In the next ring we put the people you can give a "half hug" to. One arm around the shoulders (or waist given Laura's height) and then a quick squeeze. Other family friends, teachers, staff at school and certain friends at school.
The outer ring we put the people she could shake hands with, or give a quick wave. Acquaintances, both in public and at school. And new people you meet, no matter how nice they appear to be.

I made several copies, had them at school, home and in the car. Sometimes I would review in the car before we went someplace where we would be meeting new people, or running into lots of people we knew. It really helped, and every now and then I still will just draw one on a piece of paper to help her remember.

And the original one we did had different colors for each circle, which helped her relate when we talked about it.
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